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Congratulations on plonking down money with me!

I appreciate it.

Never have enough.

My whip guarantee:  I guarantee it's a whip. I don't guarantee it's a tow chain, rope, come along, or Tarzans vine. It may do a handy job of those things in an emergency, but it's designed to crack (not pop).  Using it otherwise will culminate in undesirable results -- either broken stuff, or broken whip. In that case, you can give me more money.

I appreciate it.

Never have enough.

If it WAS a bona fide emergency, I'll likely repair or replace any damage for free for the advertising, but this is on a case by case basis, and I expect to see the scars on the bear's hide and your arm where he chomped it up to your elbow.  At least a professionally retouched photo, anyhow. Otherwise you can buy another one by sending me more money.

I appreciate it.

 Never have enough.

I guarantee it is a whip I don’t guarantee that you can use it properly.  When I say "Ouch is the sound of learning," I mean @#%#$%!&* OUCH!  It's a BAD idea to hit yourself with a whip or for that matter anyone you are going to hear whine about it for the foreseeable future.  Particularly in the eye.  So always wear eye protection at least and maybe a wide brim hat to keep from notching your ears and if you are really bad maybe full leathers or a suit of armor.  I guarantee that you WILL hit yourself and it will hurt so be careful or, you can give a doctor money.  This is bad, because all money should be given to me.

I appreciate it.

Never have enough.

Don't whack it on the ground or against trees, walls, alligators, armadillos  or rocks because it will wear it out and you'll have to give me more money.

I appreciate it.

 Never have enough.

Routine maintenance involves storing the whip in a dry place.  Mildew will attack anything.  It is a good idea keep it clean, dry.  One great thing is playing in the rain, it makes a wonderful puff of smoke as the cracker exceeds the speed of sound.  It should be allowed to dry afterwards hanging straight, not coiled.  Wooden handles may benefit from occasional lemon oil or paste wax.   Change the cracker (not popper) often.  Advice is free, so make contact with me.  Failing to take the free advice can result in costly repairs, which mean giving me money.

I appreciate it.

 Never have enough.

In Summary:

* Whip, not Tarzan vine.

* Read and follow whip safety page suggestions.

* Do not hit cinderblocks, trees, or little sisters, even if they REALLY annoy you.

* Keep clean, and dry.

* Keep it for your very own. Love it and hug it and hold it and kiss it and squeeze it and pet it and call it George. Call it anydamnthing you want. You paid for it.

* If you don’t like something tell me.  If you do like it tell your friends so that they can give me money.

I appreciate it.

Never have enough.

And yes, I stole this shamelessly from http://www.sharppointythings.com/

Go see him he makes very good stuff.